Oh sweet Jesus here we go again…I’ll stop after this one I swear. This might be more of a rambling since I feel like I’ve lost my writing edge for the day.
My husband just texted me and told me that apparently the new thing in high schools and middle schools is for boys to go into the bathroom, masturbate in their hand, and see how many people they can high-five. GROSS!!!! SERIOUSLY!?
It’s not just that though. I was talking to my dad and sister the other day, and my dad’s response was “You’re just growing up.” Sorry Daddy, I don’t think that’s the ONLY reason I think kids are awful nowadays. The reason I had text them was because I was sitting outside, on the patio, listening to the incessant screams of the neighborhood children, wishing they would just shut the fuck up for FIVE SECONDS, when all of the sudden I heard:
“Get inside now!”
“No! EFF YOU! You’re not the boss of me”
Naturally, the busy body in me perked up, and I thought “what in the world is going on?” Don’t worry folks, it gets better:
“What did you just say to me? You bet your ass I am! Get inside NOW!”
“Okay, well, five more minutes then.”
Really? REALLY!? FIVE MORE MINUTES!? After your kid pretty much just told you to fuck off and you say, “Okay that’s fine five more minutes outside and then you’re done.” Yeah that would TOTALLY fly with my children…NOT. Then the conversion between one girl and another:
“Go away. You have a fat ass and nobody likes you” <silence> “OW! Don’t punch! Mom said it’s not nice to punch!”
Way to go mom. Tell your kids violence isn’t okay but verbal abuse and cussing out your parents is! Well done. Then girl #2 says:
“Don’t say that it then, it’s not nice”
“I don’t care. It’s the truth. That and you’re an a-s-s-h-o-l-e. And you KNOW what that spells”
What in the world? really? I keep praying that I misunderstood these girls. That I didn’t hear what I actually heard.
I have had countless parents come in needing to buy bike shorts to go under skirts or dresses for their daughters that are in GRADE SCHOOL, because the boys at school had a new game that they were lifting up the girls’ skirts to see if they could get a glimpse of their vagina. I had a 35-year-old woman come in with her pregnant 14-year-old daughter and HER 2-year-old child to buy clothes for “the precious new little one.” How can you be proud of being a grandma at age 35? Who has sex at 12? Who is thinking of sex at 12? Is this a direct result of the crassness that has encompassed our society or is this because we edit out sex and leave in violence when it comes to tv and movies? European countries edit out violence and leave in the sexuality and thus have a lower rate of pregnant teens. HOWEVER they also educate they’re kids properly about sex and violence. Where as here we edit it all, or mostly out, and never speak of it. We preach abstinence instead of sex education. I don’t get it.
I was at work one day, a kid was throwing an awful tantrum, mom picked her up, bent her over and gave her a spanking. I was taken aback. Not in a bad way, though. I just shocked that it happened because you don’t see that kind of thing happen anymore. This woman immediately got defensive and said, “What? Are you going to call social services on me now? I can’t discipline my child?” My response was a simple, “Ma’am, you have every right to discipline your child however you see fit. If that requires a spank in public so be it.” Come to think of it, I was swatted many times in public view for far less than what this kid was doing. My mother told me a story once that her aunt (or some sort of blood relative) was in the grocery store with her child and the child started throwing a kicking-screaming-arm-flailing fit on the floor in the store. So she laid down and started doing the same. The kid stopped and her response was, “Looks pretty ridiculous doesn’t it?” or something to that effect. I’ll need to get all the facts straight with my mother. My point is, We used to be able to do things like that. We used to be able to swat our children on the rear ends for misbehaving, or pop them in the mouth for saying no, but NOW if anything like that is done where anyone else can see it’s child abuse. How is that child abuse? Is it because it’s being done in public? I feel like a lot of the “Oh my God, I can’t believe she just spanked her kid in public”, comes from people that either don’t have kids or don’t discipline their kids properly. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m being too opinionated. I’m just saying, if your kid throws a tantrum in public, cusses you out, disobey’s you, WHATEVER, you should be able to reserve the right to discipline the way you would if you weren’t in the mall, grocery store, restaurant, or wherever you are. You should be able to take your kid to the bathroom or outside and give him or her a swat on the butt without fear of someone, somewhere getting offended and calling Child Protective Services.
On top of all this, I feel like the children in this neighborhood, maybe not all of them, but I can name a few, don’t have any sense of boundaries. Our dog has been terrorized and let loose on many occasion because these kids think it’s okay to just go into someone else’s yard without permission, to go and play with a strange animal without the owner’s or their parent’s permission, and just walk into someone else’s house without permission from the owners. Where are the manners anymore? I understand this is base housing, I get it, we’re a small community, but if I had done that when I was growing up I would have gotten my butt whooped. You don’t just walk into someone else home, even if it is their patio, without permission. When I was growing up I was taught that you don’t approach a dog without the owner’s permission because you don’t know how that dog is going to behave. You don’t know if the dog is mean or friendly, if it’s overzealous or laid back.
Have we become that afraid to discipline our children? I’ll tell you one thing, if my kid ever told me to “eff off” he/she would be knocked into next week regardless of whether or not he/she actually said “fuck” or just “eff.” The “fuck” part was implied, and it’s unacceptable. I know I don’t have the best vocabulary as you probably have noticed by all the “fucks” and “shits” I’ve typed, but I’m pretty careful about using language around children.
I just don’t understand how kids these days can get away with acting the way they do and saying the things they say. At my previous job, I occasionally did substituting in the special education classroom at the high school. I never met a more disrespectful group of kids than I did there. I may not have been a “real” substitute teacher but you can bet your ass I threatened like one. I had to tell these kids multiple times to be respectful, to be quiet, not to use language, etc. At one point during a class (by the way this is not in reference to the special education kids) I told the kids to shut up and listen because I was sick of them interrupting the teacher, and was later THANKED by the teacher for saying this. I apologized to her because I knew it was inappropriate to say “shut up,” but explained that I couldn’t help myself. She remembered me from when I was in high school and I asked her if we were EVER this bad. She said she can remember a student here and there that was a jackass ALL THE TIME, but it was never the whole class. We sat in her classroom for about another 30 minutes discussing how awful these kids were. She made a point to tell me that not every single one of her students were awful, there were a select few that while they were still smart asses, were actually respectful, but the facts were that attitudes had flip-flopped. Instead of being only a couple of students that were disrespectful, and most of them actually minding their manners, doing their homework etc, she now had a full day of students who were constantly making excuses, whining, being rude, and skipping assignments and only a few students who actually cared. Is that it? Do they just not care? Do they think everything will just be handed to them in life and that they don’t have to work hard for anything?
I know I was a little shit my last year of high school, in fact, I almost didn’t graduate because I quit giving a shit. However, when the letter came to the house that said I may not graduate, I got my shit together. I was NOT going to spend another year in high school because of ONE class. I wanted to go to college. I wanted to accomplish something. I wanted to be somebody.
I would like to still hold out hope that there are decent children out there that still respect their parents and still have manners. I just don’t know when this became the acceptable norm. When did “yeah my kids misbehave all the time, yeah my kids cuss, yeah my kids bully other kids, yeah my kid looks up girls skirts, but that’s just my kid” cross the line from being inappropriate to being okay? I got smacked for just telling my parents “no.”
I’m mostly just baffled, and I’m sure, deep down inside of me I am SURE, that not all kids are like this….I’m sure. I don’t mind the kid who’s a smart ass, honestly, as long as he/she isn’t being a jack ass about it. Banter is fun. I hope my kids are smart asses. They almost have to be. It’ll be in their blood. But I won’t allow them to speak to me that way or act that way. It’s insanity.
I can’t even gather my thoughts right now. I’ve been staring at the screen too long trying to put into words how I feel about it all. I feel like I’m coming down hard on the parents of these kids, and I’m not intentionally meaning to do so. I’m not saying these parents are bad people or even bad parents, I just don’t understand why people are so afraid to discipline their kids. And maybe the kids aren’t always like that, but you have a draw a line SOMEWHERE.
I don’t know. Whatever. I’m tired. It’s bed time.