Not a whole lot of people know how he proposed, I just generally tell people when we got engaged, or when I felt engaged. The truth is, we didn’t have much of an engagement. As I said before, we met at the beginning of August and got married in December.
About the middle of November, we took a trip to Atlanta to see his family and drop off the Camaro so we had one less car to bring with us when we moved in January. At the time, my parents didn’t know I had planned on moving to South Carolina when he did his PCS here. They knew marriage had been mentioned, but didn’t know we had actually talked about children and everything else. I had told him that I would really appreciate it if he sat down and talked to my parents, or at least my father, and not only ask for their blessing with our decision to move together, but ask for my hand. I was getting antsy at the thought of it because we were (supposed to be) moving in less than 2 months, and nothing had been even mentioned yet. As we were sitting in the hotel room, extremely late at night and I was telling him my fears about moving and anxiety about telling my parents, he told me what he planned on saying to my parents. He ended it with “‘…essentially what I’m asking for is your daughter’s hand in marriage.’ Oh shit…did I just propose? Huh, I think I did. Hey, will you marry me?” It wasn’t the huge romantic gesture, no flowers, candles, wine, or a glistening ring. It happened at 3 am, in the dark, in a hotel room.
The second one came as a bit of a shock as well. It went a little something like this:
T: Hey…what are you doing Thursday?
Me: Working. Why?
T: But before that what are you doing?
Me: Nothing I guess, unless I pick up a shift.
T: Cool. Wanna get married?
We had been talking about our options. Do we find a place to live and collect BAH, save up for a big wedding in the mean time? Do we elope and have the ceremony later so we can save up? Needless to say, we opted for the latter, and set our ceremony date for October 5th, 2012. We went shopping for rings, again unbeknownst to my parents, for them to find out later (don’t worry they knew before we got hitched). We got our witnesses, found someone to solemnize the marriage, and went to the courthouse. Before going inside, we decided to have a cigarette. As I was getting out of the car, the hubby grabbed the over sized ring box out of his pocket, got down on one knee and jokingly said “Hey Kelley….will you marry me?” We had a chuckle and I called him an idiot. It was followed up by, “Where’s the name change place? Let’s get this done.”
Again not the proposal I had hoped for, but I felt like it was a little late for a proposal at that point. So I got a little over sensitive about the “Let’s get this done” comment. Don’t get the wrong idea and think the hubby is insensitive or rude or mean, it just doesn’t strike me as his type of thing. He’s just not the big romantic gesture kinda guy. It’s not him. He’s spontaneous, but not on a romantic level. He can be sickly sweet sometimes though, and it always makes my heart smile. Our relationship is almost built off of sarcasm and playfulness. When he said “let’s get this done” I knew he was joking, but I was still a little upset over the whole no “real” proposal thing.
Until today, I always secretly resented the fact that I didn’t get a proposal, or at least the proposal I had imagined. I held out hope that he’d do it. That he’s been planning something, even though I knew I wouldn’t get one. Maybe it’s selfish, but I always felt like a proposal was a way of saying “this is how much I love you.”
Today I spent 5 hours deep cleaning the house. Occasionally, the hubby would come out of the hide-e-hole he calls his man cave, where he spends hours playing LOL, see my progress, and tell me the house was looking awesome. I ended my five hour spree with the bedroom. The bed was pulled away from the wall, I had lifted the mattress to fix the bed skirt, stripped the bed, scrubbed the floors, and picked up dirty clothes. As I was making the bed, he rejoined the world again, came into the bedroom and said “Kelley, you should have asked me for help! You’re not Superwoman!” I laughed a little and he said “Who am I kidding? Yes you are!” He then gave me a kiss. He helped me finish making the bed, and went into the bathroom to wash his hands.
T: Kelley do you like Halloween?
Me: Oh god…Why? (thinking he was going to try to scare me somehow)
T: Just answer the question. Do you like Halloween
Me *hesitantly*: Yes?
T: Well then you’re going to LOVE October!
I turned around to see him bent down one knee, holding my engagement/wedding ring.
T: Honey? Will you marry me?
Annoyed, because I was tired, because I felt like he was treating the proposal like a joke, I snatched the ring out of his hand and put it on my finger
T: Oh my God is that a yes!? SHE SAID YES!!!
He bent me backwards and kissed me passionately.
It was then that I realized, it didn’t matter. I may not have gotten the proposal I wanted or even imagined, but I didn’t need the big fancy proposal to see how much this man loves me. He may have been joking, but he didn’t need to do it, now. I knew he was doing this, even if it seemed like a joke, because he knew I wanted it. He forfeited his birthday present to make sure that I was able to go home and visit next week. He brought me my umbrella at work one night because it had started to rain and he noticed I forgot it. He makes stupid faces, does weird voices, and pounces on me. He randomly decided to buy me a puppy because I had mentioned in passing that I wanted one. He might be silly, but I like it that way. Sure, a part of me would have still liked the big romantic proposal, but I don’t need it. He shows me everyday how much he loves me, even if he is being stupid.
I can remember when we first moved here, I was having a lazy day, and kept asking him to bring me things every time he walked by. I could tell he was getting annoyed, but I persisted just to be an asshole.
T: Yes dear?
Me: Did I tell you how much I love you? Like REALLY love you? I mean I just love you SO much! Is there any way, ANYWAY AT ALL I can show you just how much I really, REALLY love you?
T: You already did sweetie.
Me: Oh yeah? How’s that?
T: You married me *smile* (followed with a kiss)
It’s in everything he does, everything he says that I can see how much he cares for me. The way he does anything he can to make me happy. A proposal is just an over-the-top way to say “I love you”, but shouldn’t we, and I mean the collective “we,” spend every day like that? The hubby and I say “I love you” about 30 times a day, and that’s not exaggeration. It’s a constant, random, reminder of “I love you. Don’t ever forget it.” I’m just disappointed that it took me this long to see that he didn’t need to propose, because he’s living it everyday.