What’s a DIY wedding blog without a rant? Here goes mine.
By the time this wedding is over, I’m going to be bleeding hot glue, pink, orange, and printer ink. I have spent so much time on crafts for this damn wedding I’ve about exhausted my craftiness. I’ve made the ring bearer pillow (which I’m not 100% sold on still), the guestbook, the flower girl basket, printed the invitations, printed the response cards, printed registry information, printed the address labels for both the response cards and the invites, helped my bridesmaids look for a dress, spent countless hours on the internet trying to figure out what to get my bridesmaids and favors for my guests, I’ve spent money I don’t have, and I’m exhausted. Utterly exhausted.
I want to throw everything in the air and yell “fuck it!” Because seriously…fuck it. I’ve run out of ribbon, I’ve run out of glue, I’ve run out of ink, I’ve endured nasty paper cuts, and I’ve gotten fed up with my husband over stupid shit. I just want it all to be done with. I would LOVE to have at least one other thing done right now so that it’s one less thing I need to worry about. Now my biggest issue is how am I going to transport certain items from South Carolina to South Dakota? On top of that, stamps are effing expensive. I’ve already told certain people they’ll have to wait to receive their invitation because I’m not spending the postage on it when I know they’re going to be there.
Done I tell you! DONE! I sit here and complain about this, but I KNEW what I was getting into when I signed up to do a bunch of shit on my own. When I said “I’m just going to DIY a bunch of stuff” I knew this would happen, but I didn’t realize it would be to this extent. Little to my bridesmaids’ and personal attendant’s knowledge (which if they’re reading this, they know now) the slumber party I’m holding the night before the wedding is a ruse. I’m luring them in with the promise of food and alcohol so that we can do last minute projects. Like paper airplanes and guest favors. I’m being really stingy with my money right now. There’s a few invitations that the ribbon doesn’t wrap all the way around because I didn’t want to just throw the ribbon away with it being as expensive as it was. I’m running my printer down to the last of it’s ink because ink is pricey. I’m taking short cuts. I cut things out of my contract at the venue. I just can’t anymore. To quote my dear friend Rena “I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I just, I just CAN’T!” complete with hand gestures. I keep forgetting to eat. Yes, forgetting. Flat out forgetting. Yesterday it wasn’t until 8 pm that I realized I hadn’t eaten anything but jelly beans all day, had 4 cups of coffee, and a Full Throttle.
A woman that lives here offered up her help and I am forever grateful to her for helping me. If I had tried to finish off the invitations myself, they wouldn’t be going out on Monday, and half of them would have been tear soaked…or tequila soaked.
Things that still need to be done:
- David’s Bridal still needs to mail me my dress so I can get started on alterations (2 things in one)
- My programs need to be made up and printed (another 2 in one)
- I need to decide what to do about the ring bearer pillow because damn it, I’m not settling for something I’m not 100% on
- Guest favors
- Bridesmaids gifts
- Buy glow sticks, noise makers, bells, and paper for the paper airplanes
- glue together ISpy games
- finish stuffing envelopes
- Print off registry info
- Update my wedding website to include driving directions
- Contact DaBus for transportation
- Finalize a contract with my photographer
- Buy stuff to make a background for the photo booth
- Find someone to videotape the wedding. They don’t need to be professional, they just need to have a steady hand and a camera.
I know there are things I’m forgetting but whatever. I had a short talk with the hubby this morning because he made a couple comments here and there about how he’s the only one contributing to the wedding. I basically told him that he needed to take into consideration, that just because I’m not writing a check for $1,000 doesn’t mean I’m not contributing. Sure, I haven’t made a big financial contribution, but I’ve hunted down the photographer, bakery, DJ, venue, and caterer. Printed off and signed all the contracts. I made my trip home earlier this month double as a “check up on everything” trip. I’ve put in time to make a lot of things for the wedding so we didn’t have to spend as much money. I’ve bought the items required to make these things. So yes, I am making some sort of a contribution. He might be writing the big checks, but I’m also paying for alterations on my dress, buying bridesmaids gifts, ribbon, printable invitations, spending over $100 on stamps, tracking down people for addresses, and the list goes on and on. I’m not degrading him in any way, shape, or form. I’m not saying he’s not putting any effort into the wedding. I’m just saying I’m putting in a different form of effort. I’m making all the decisions and crafty shit and spending time and money on that, and he’s picking up the slack.
It’s difficult to plan a wedding when you only work part time. He makes a bulk of the money that comes into the house hold, so I’ve had to continually find short cuts and things to do to make this easier and cheaper. It’s exhausting. So my advice to future brides: think about what you’re asking for. Can you absolutely not live without? Can you afford it? Can you make anything yourself? The DIY thing is a double edge sword. I’m glad I’m doing it, but I’m completely overwhelmed. HOWEVER, it’s worth it in the long run because I’m probably saving us about $5,000 right now. That’s not just the stuff I’ve made on my own, that’s cutting out things like a wedding planner, a calligrapher, getting rid of the cake service (where they cut and serve the cake for you…someone else can do it…seriously…SOMEONE will be willing to help.) I cut out punch service. Got rid of the china and opted for plastic plates instead. Got rid of chair covers. Swapped out decorations. Etc., etc., etc. If you can do it on your own or can come up with an alternative DO IT.
There is something I am grateful for. The fact that we got married and are NOW doing the wedding. It is, I’m sure of it, a lot less stressful than if we weren’t married yet. It takes a bit of the antsy-ness off. I already have his last name. I’ve already taken the big step. We don’t have to buy a marriage license. We don’t have to track down our birth certificates. I don’t have to worry about doing the name change process on top of all the wedding planning bullshit. It’s already done.
On top of that, I have a wonderful group of girls behind me that are willing to do anything they can to help me, as long as their schedule permits it. Miss Rena, bless her heart, has listened to me bitch and moan about how difficult this shit is, and she just takes it. She’s been there for me. She’s told me when I’m being silly. She’s told me that the way I feel isn’t silly. She’s helped me cut corners and to remember that this isn’t about what other people think. This is for us, not everyone else. We wanted this. We asked for it. I made my ribbon cutting, hot glue gunned, scrap book papered, yarn, and fake flower infested bed, and now I have to lie in it.
I’m sure by the time this is all over, I’ll be fine. I’ll look back on it and think “why did I stress so much?” But right now…I could kill a mother fucker if he says anything remotely wrong about any aspect of this wedding because, god damn it, I’m putting blood sweat and tears into this thing to make it work.
Thank you for reading my rant. Please go back to your lives.
PS…my printer just experienced a sever malfunction. Like the “I’m going to paper jam your ass and then tell you there’s no paper in me when you get it unstuck” type of malfunction. AND the program I’m using keeps stalling on me, and randomly closing…..at this point…all I can do is laugh…