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There’s been a lot of uproar recently about birth control, same sex marriage, and abortion…I feel like this happens every four years with every election. I’ve written many a paper, read many an article, and have formed my own opinion. I’m not the type that’s going to picket an abortion clinic and tell you you’re going to hell for aborting your child, but I am entitled to my own opinion. Everyone has a right to their own opinion, so here’s mine and these are the facts I know.

I don’t support abortion as a form of birth control. It’s murder point blank. Under no circumstances can you honestly say and mean “The kid wouldn’t have had a good life.” You don’t know that. You don’t know that the kid would have been transferred from home to home and never had a stable living environment. Every day there are people who can’t have their own children who would love nothing more than to raise a child of their own. There are homosexual couples that would love to have a child, but there are women who think “oh no one will love this thing so I’m gonna get rid of it.”

That’s just it. It’s not a “thing” it’s not an “it” it’s a child. I don’t agree with the stance that the child isn’t a child until it’s born. It’s bull. The thing growing in your uterus isn’t a fetus it’s a child. When you have your first ultrasound the heartbeat you’re hearing isn’t the mother’s, it’s the child’s. But don’t worry it’s not alive. The baby magically appears after you’ve given birth. You’re giving birth to a parasite until it pops out of your vagina, and THEN and ONLY THEN does it become a living thing. You’re an idiot. I just don’t understand how someone can think like that. The point I’m trying to make is not a christian way of thinking, in my opinion, it’s a scientific way of speaking. It has a heartbeat. It’s alive. It’s a human. Deal with it. By the time a woman can have an abortion the “fetus” already has ten fingers and ten toes, arms, legs, fingernails, eyelids begin to develop, your child is kicking, moving, and swallowing.

I don’t believe in aborting the child because he/she has been diagnosed with a disorder in your first trimester. I used to work with people with disabilities and they were some of the most caring loving people I’ve ever met. God won’t give you anything you can’t handle, and if you sincerely don’t think you can handle it, give the child up for adoption. Abortion used to be illegal, but women were having back alley abortions and ending up hurt or dead, so we legalized it. Maybe we should legalize outright murder so people can kill each other with doctor’s consent. It’s only fair right?

NOW, that being said, I only agree with abortion in the case of the women I’m about to speak of. I read 3 different articles about 3 different Nebraskan women who were all pregnant. They all went in for their appointments and they all got different diagnoses pertaining to a life threatening condition of their child. One woman had an ectopic pregnancy and the other two women’s babies were tangled in the umbilical cord, or weren’t getting nutrients enough to allow it to survive. Each of these three women went home with their husbands, cried, prayed, and made the decision to end the pregnancy since there was no way the child would survive anyway. In that circumstance is the only time that I believe in abortion. It’s the same effect as pulling the plug on someone who’s in a vegetative state. While the decision would be hard, the family has weighed the options and made the decision that best suited the situation. None of these women were given the opportunity to do that and were forced to feel the child grow and suffer inside of them until they went into labor and gave birth to a dead child. My heart goes out to these women sincerely. If I were in that position, I would have fought those doctors and the state with all my might.

On the subject of birth control. My dear friend Rena and I have discussed birth control on a personal level. She is of the theory that the reason we have so many miscarriages and pregnancy problems these days is because we put our youth on birth control before their bodies are even adjusted to the new hormone they’re producing during the puberty stage. Their bodies get used to that extra hormone that the birth control provides and thinks it doesn’t need to produce as much of it. It’s a theory it’s not a proven fact so don’t get up in arms about it. I wouldn’t be surprised if this were true, though.

Birth control is not 100% as condoms aren’t 100%. If you think you’re old enough and mature enough at age 13 to have sex then you need to be old enough and mature enough to accept the consequences of raising a child at that age. I don’t believe in putting your daughter on birth control at that young of an age. The problem we have in America is that we aren’t educating our children about sex, we’re preaching abstinence. Like a child who’s told not to do something, we do it in rebellion of our parents. We put our youth on birth control and it’s basically telling them “okay go have sex freely now” and then further reinforcing the idea that abortion is okay.

I have been on some form of birth control since I was 18 and it wasn’t because I went behind my parents’ backs and got it. It wasn’t because I was having sex. It was for other reasons. If you have half a brain then you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t, there’s no reason you should be reading this right now. I’m not saying that I didn’t take advantage of the fact that I was on birth control, but I’m also not saying that I slept around. I just wasn’t as careful as I should have been. I was foolish, but I was willing to deal with any consequences I was possibly facing. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I was convinced I was covered because I was on birth control. Thankfully I was, but not all people have that kind of luck. I was on birth control strictly to balance out my hormones. The fact that it doubled as a “let’s not get Kelley pregnant” was a plus. Right now it’s a marvelous plus because right now the hubster and I are only in the “we’re planning on having kids one day” stage.

I want to make something very clear about the “Morning After Pill” and the “Plan B” pill. It is not in any way shape or form an abortion pill. That implies that a miscarriage would quickly be carried out if you took it and you were pregnant. It can only be used to up to five days after THE SEX that you fear may have gotten you pregnant because you forgot to take your pill, you had unprotected sex, or the condom broke. It can’t be used after you find out you’re pregnant. All that pill does is prevent the egg from attaching to the wall of your uterus or prevent the egg from releasing from your ovaries. It also thickens the mucus in a woman’s cervix so pregnancy isn’t possible. It is emergency contraception. One of my doctor friends described it to me as a double dose of the pill. They also use this in cases of rape. So if this morning after pill is an abortion pill then you must think that if I forget a day of my birth control and have to double up on pills the next day that I’m giving myself an abortion? What is there to abort if no child has formed yet? And if it were truly an abortion pill then I should have had plenty of miscarriages now even when I wasn’t having sex.

On the subject of same sex marriage. I saw a cartoon comic strip with three pictures. The first was of a drunk couple. The woman saying “we met 4 hours ago in a casino! We want to get married!” the second was of a wealthy couple. A young woman and an older man. The woman says “I’ve been married and divorced 5 times and I’m ready to marry again.” The last was a picture of two men dressed nicely, holding each other. One of the men says “We’ve been together for 20 years. We love each other and would like to get married.”

Who are we to deny these people the right to happiness. The right to have their own lives. Homosexuality is not a new thing. It’s not something you just pick up like a hobby. Men and women have hidden behind heterosexual relationships for years because it wasn’t accepted. Who are we to judge whether it’s a sin? Who are we to picket and say “you’re going to hell.” There’s only one person to decide that on judgement day and it sure as hell isn’t you and it sure as hell isn’t me.

Just because you’re a straight man and you walk past a gay man, doesn’t mean that that gay man wants to jump on top of you. The same goes for women. What we fail to recognize is that as heterosexuals, we do this to each other as well. Just because you think you’re hot doesn’t mean the whole rest of the world wants to “get on that.” So, quit being a homophobic dick.

The new friend I made here told me that there is a gay pride parade this summer in Charleston. I will be there to show my support. No one should have their rights stripped from them because they view the world differently. Because they look or act differently. Does anyone remember the 50s? Does this current situation with our “war on homosexuality” remind you of anything? Say for instance the battle we fought with each other on giving people of color any rights? Twenty years from now our children are going to look back on us and think we were ridiculous for denying rights to anyone.

I spoke before about how hate is bred into people. We aren’t born hating other people of other races or sexuality. We’re taught to do that. I just don’t understand how anyone can have such a deep hate for someone they don’t even know. For all you know that couple that is “living in sin” as you call it, has the same or  better family values as you. They want to raise and love their own child because they know that every child deserves a chance at happiness. Just like every couple deserves a chance at happiness. Every couple deserves the right to have a chance at marriage.

People complain that homosexuality is ruining the sanctity of marriage, when it’s heterosexual people that are getting married so they can take money from someone. We’re getting married and getting divorced 10 days later. We’re marrying several different people at the same time. Call me crazy, but when I said my vows I meant them. I meant that I would fight for my marriage. I meant that no matter what happened I would do my best to resolve the situation and make my marriage work. I made a commitment to my husband. A commitment that is supposed to last the rest of my natural born life. There are couples out there that have been fighting for that right. That have been fighting for their partnership to be recognized for YEARS. Why don’t they deserve it? Why don’t they deserve the same benefits that I have with my husband?

I’m damn glad the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy is no longer in effect. It’s opened the eyes of so many people in the military and out of the military. It’s made people SLIGHTLY more tolerant, but not to the extent that we need to be.

What sickens me the most is how we preach about the separation of church and state but clearly we’ve forgotten what that means. The separation of church and state means we’re not going to allow our religious beliefs to get in the way and rule our politics, and look at what’s happening. This is why we have this huge debate. This is why we aren’t allowing our citizens to marry the people they love because we’re bringing God into the equation. I don’t think God is going to hate me because I take birth control. I don’t think God is going to hate you because you want to marry your same sex partner. People need to open their eyes and get their facts straight before they start preaching to someone else about how that person is leading a life of sin while they themselves are holding signs that tell other people they’re going to hell for this, this, and this.

We all think we’re so well educated, but aren’t looking at the big picture. We aren’t looking at right and wrong. The people that are preaching this bullshit think they know everything about everything. They’re too busy butting into other people’s business that they forget to take care of their own problems and look in the mirror at what they might be doing wrong. Wake up people. We don’t know everything. We aren’t educating our youth correctly. We aren’t educating ourselves correctly. I don’t claim to know everything, and I don’t think I know everything. I’m not the smartest person to ever live. There’s still stuff I don’t know about, but I think I have a pretty good sense of right and wrong.

Abortion…wrong in most cases
Birth control…fine if it’s used correctly
Same sex marriage…Why not? go for it

So have at me folks…I know you’re probably itching to tear my throat out right now.