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Okay so that might be SLIGHTLY exaggerated, but that doesn’t mean I’m not utterly pissed off right now. This is not a situation of “the customer is always right” because i don’t believe that, but this is a situation of “quit being a fucking asshole and listen to me”

P.S. Language warning: use discretion

So begins a little story of two mixed up packages. My mother-in-law sent us some Christmas gifts. When we opened the package, we realized we got the wrong box and the one we ended up with was originally meant for a family in California. Yesterday, we figured it out, and I was told to take the package intended for California to the FedEx office and get it straightened out. That the whole thing was paid for. That the manager should know.

Today I take said package to the FedEx office I assume it’s supposed to go and I’m met with a whole shitload of assery. To start it all off when I approached the counter, the woman behind the counter began speaking to me in a voice you would likely use to approach a child, all sweet, high-pitched, and annoying “Well hello there sweetie! What do you need today?” I laughed a little inside since I know I look young and proceeded to tell her there had been a mix up and that I was informed by my mother-in-law to bring the package here, speak to a manager, and the whole thing would be straightened out. BOOM! DRASTIC attitude change. Her voice filled with immediate sarcasm she says to me, “Um…and what is this ‘manager’s’ name you were supposed to speak to?” I said “I’m not entirely certain, I was just told that if I came in he would know what I was talking about and the whole thing would be taken care of.” She then rolls her eyes and disappears to the back. I heard bits and pieces of her conversation, mostly the parts where she called me a “little girl.” I felt a slight twinge of anger arise in the pit of my stomach and prayed it wouldn’t bubble its way to the surface. She then reemerged of the back and following behind her was a round man with mean looking eyes.

Disgust in his voice, he asked the woman who he was supposed to be speaking to. The woman replied with a simple, demeaning “ugh…that one” To myself I think “wow! really? REALLY!?” He walks over to me and says sternly “Ma’am you need to take a step over here and talk to me because I don’t know what exactly it is you think you’re trying to do.” With a forced smile on my face, I walk over to him and tell him the story of how our packages got screwed up, that my mother-in-law had taken care of it on her end and the package intended for my husband and  I was being rerouted and sent back here. I told him how I was informed to take the package we had to them, and that it would be taken care of and sent on its way to California. “Listen girly (1) I’m not sure what you think you’re trying to get away with here, but I don’t know what in the world you’re talking about. No one called me about anything and I don’t know what you’re talking about. Maybe you can get your mommy on the phone (2) and I can talk to her.” To which I force a laugh and say “Hm, okay, well first, my mother-in-law, and second, yeah, I’ll call her” He then makes another remark about me calling “mommy.” I get information from her about who to call and who to talk to. I explain to him that he’s calling a FedEx in Georgia because that’s where the packages were originally sent from, and he says “Hold up, sweetheart (3) you told me they were on their way to California. Remind me again why exactly I’m calling Georgia to take care of this? (4)” I say, “Yes, sir. I did tell you the package was on its way to California. I also told you that they were originally sent from Georgia and that…” *insert exaggerated sigh of exasperation* “Then why am I calling a store in Georgia if this needs to be sent to California” I laugh sarcastically and say “(5)well because they were originally sent from Georgia, something got screwed up, and we got the wrong package. My mother-in-law got it worked out there. She told me that everything was already taken care of, nothing needs to be paid for and that you would know.  I’m giving you the number for the Georgia office so that you guys can straighten this out and we can get this taken care of. I am giving you all the information I can about this whole thing.”

Please keep in mind every time I speak, he just shakes his head and rolls his eyes. He continues to do so as he furiously punches the numbers in the phone and mutters shit to himself that I chose to ignore. I did however catch one comment “I don’t know what you’re trying to get away with” and something else about me wanting “free shipping.” His conversation with the store manager in Georgia went a little something like this:

“Yeah *insert sarcastic laugh* I have this little girl (6) here that says her mother (7) sent her here with a package that needed to be shipped and apparently WE’RE supposed to pay for it? Yeah, are you familiar with a woman by the name of _________? Oh you are? (8) Okay so what’s the big deal? Why am I dealing with this? (9) I mean there’s a FedEx around the corner I’d be more than happy to send her of there and have them sort this out, I mean we’re just a distribution center, I have other things to handle. (10) Yeah I guess I’ll take care of it here, whatever.”

He gets off the phone and his WHOLE attitude went from sarcastic dick-faced asshole to so sweet I’m going to rot your teeth out. (11) We get it taken care of, and I leave.

Wondering what all the numbers were about? Even if you weren’t I’m going to tell you anyway, they were in fact reference points to what’s below, aka things I was thinking the whole time.

(1)  I don’t  give a fuck how old you think I am, don’t call me girly. It’s demeaning and I hate it
(2) Um, excuse me, fuck you first of all and secondly fuck you. I am a 25 fucking year old woman. Don’t treat me like I’m some idiot kid trying to ship a package for free.
(3) Sweetheart? SWEETHEART!? SERIOUSLY!? Don’t call me sweetheart. Do you really think that by calling me “sweetheart” it’s going to magically reform the opinion I’ve already made of you in the past 5 minutes? Calling me sweetheart, also demeaning. You may as well have just called me a bitch…fuckface
(4) Uh, you’re taking care of this because a. it’s your job and b. because I’m in your store and you haven’t given me another option, save us all the trouble and tell me you can’t do anything about so I can get this taken care of from a higher level of management
(5) Don’t interrupt me! If you would listen to the words that are coming out of my damn mouth, you would know exactly what the fuck is going on and why you’re dealing with this situation right now. The reason you’re calling Georgia is because that’s where the package was sent from. WHY THE FUCK would you call a California store when the package that needs to be sent back to us is already being rerouted and the package that needs to go to California is right fucking in front of you!
(6) At that point, I perked up and shot him a look meanwhile I’m thinking “Little girl huh? LITTLE GIRL!!!!?????? What in bloody blue hell did you not understand about the words “mother-in-law” meaning I’M MARRIED. Meaning I’m over the age of 18. Meaning I’m not as young as you think. Meaning don’t treat me like a fucking imbecile.
(7) Cheese and rice on a fucking cracker! I didn’t call my “mommy” as you so eloquently put it. It’s not like I had to have someone drive me here and pick me up so that “mommy can go run other errands while her child does this one tiny little thing. maybe if you bat your eyes the nice man will let you ship it for free”
(8) HAHA! SCREW YOU! Told you I wasn’t lying.
(10) Then send me somewhere else! SERIOUSLY! I’m sorry I didn’t know there was 8 FedEx locations within a 10 mile radius.
(11) Are you really going to be sweet to me like I didn’t just hear your entire fucking phone conversation? You know, the one where you tried to make me out to be a liar looking for free shipping only to find out that I wasn’t? The one where you were completely degrading to me?

Here’s the thing, I understand that he needed to ask questions. I understand that he needed to call and figure this out. I don’t want to hear any “Oh but it’s customer service, you deal with stupid people and assholes all the time” Yep, and I work in the same customer service industry. Didn’t want to be at work AT ALL yesterday, but I put on a smile, helped people out, made at least one person’s day, meanwhile on the inside I was thinking “dear Jesus get me out of here.” Point is, Christmas is next week. We’re all stressed. It SUCKS working in customer service, but it’s not all the bad ALL THE TIME. I don’t give a shit if you’re sick of your job, you still put a smile on your face and suck it up like nothing is wrong. You don’t degrade your customer and tell them he/she is lying. You don’t tell a full-grown married woman that she’s a little girl looking for free shipping. Do your best to understand the situation and then handle it accordingly. Don’t jump to your stupid ass conclusions and realize you just made an ass of yourself…I now know a guy who knows a guy who is going to take care of this mess since she had to deal with the same situation in GA.

Just as good as calling corporate. Which does make me feel a little bit awful, but this was outright uncalled for and completely unprofessional. I wasn’t the only one that was uncomfortable in this situation. It’s like the whole mess with Best Buy that happened with me a few months back. I went back into the store, and as I approached an associate for help, another associate approached him and started yelling at him, not work related, but about a personal situation involving a break up because he cheated on her with another associate. You realize you’re making an ass out of yourself AND a mockery out of the company you work for right?

On that note, I can honestly say that I like my job and I love the people I work with.

On another note, I realized as I was standing there enduring one of the worst customer service situations I’ve ever been in, that the FedEx logo has an arrow in it…hm…neat