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How awful is it that it’s nearly 9 am on my day off and I set my alarm? Maybe that’s not bad, but I have too much to do today, and I knew I had to get up. I need to give myself a serious talking to.

I need to get moving. Shower, audition, feed dogs, clean house, stamp and address envelopes, call card companies and change my address, cook dinner. The end. Instead, I’m sitting on the couch, slowly drinking my delicious, hot cup of coffee and typing.

When we first got here, the house was clean, dinner was made every night and it was not an issue. Since I started working, I’ve been slacking a bit. I shouldn’t. It’s not like I’m incapable, and since I’m not working full time, I feel as though it’s my duty to get these things completed. I do expect help, but I am going to have 5 days off soon. That happens often. So why is it so hard for me to get motivated to clean?

Let me clarify that our house isn’t DIRTY. It’s cluttered, and much like the hubby this annoys me. There’s no reason for that. Everything has a place, and with this new house, it’s not like we’re lacking for space to put things. We have these friends, and went over to their house for dinner the other night. Their house always seems to be clean. Like damn near perfect kind of clean. After supper R and I joined forces and cleaned up the kitchen while the boys chit-chatted at the table and little J was putting pajamas on. In that moment, I had a sort of awakening. Their house is always clean because this happens every day. The constant act of picking up and putting away, scrubbing and drying, loading and unloading, sweeping up the mess and putting it in the trash.

It has to be a learned action. I would greatly enjoy to bring that to the table. Except right now, our table has clutter that would suggest we’re hoarders. dirty-house-2
Okay so that’s not our kitchen table, and not our house. Our house isn’t that cluttered nor do I ever wish for it to be, but that’s how it feels. It’s mostly just mail, the hubby’s homework, and a few things that haven’t been put up from the move yet. The thing is though, that’s pretty much how I grew up. The house would get so cluttered with everyone’s stuff, their backpacks, coats, purses, homework, mail, etc, until someone got pissed off and there was a fight about not being able to find something and then we’d all power clean. The house would stay clean for about a week until it went back to the same clutter accumulation, and we’d start the cycle all over again. All I can say is at least our house wasn’t dirty and growing mold. There’s a difference between “Our house is a mess” and “Our house is dirty.”

It can’t be that hard though. They say it takes a week to learn a habit and 3 weeks to break it. Is it that or am I just not the wifey I thought I was? I’d like to think I’m a good wifey and that we, not just I, need to learn to declutter every time we come home. I’ve gotten pretty good about putting my purse up when I get home from wherever, as opposed to leaving it lie on the kitchen table.

On top of which, we discovered yesterday that both of us were out of money until Friday, and coincidentally out of cigarettes. Perhaps this behavior can be learned while I attempt to quit smoking so I don’t eat everything in the house to satisfy my hand-to-mouth action I get with smoking.

Hopefully, starting today, I can get my little butt in gear and start making a change we can actually see around here instead of inviting people into my house and saying “sorry  our house is a mess.”

Though really, it can’t be that hard right? If I do it, the hubby is sure to follow suit right?